I am not very sure anymore on how things work.
Things that I am sure of I know I can get it to work
I fret on the normal daily things
I sense the lack of joy
I do not know what brings you joy
I do not know what makes you smile
I do not know what brings you happiness,
Not anymore
I can no longer do that
I can no longer make you smile
I can no longer do the things that make you happy anymore
What am I
Who am I
When am I
Feel the sadness
Feel the pain
Feel the hurt
It won't go away
I swallow and see the light
I mellow and realise
There is nothing
There is nothing I can do
To make you smile again
Friday, November 26, 2010
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Things that are top of my I DO NOT AGREE WITH
To put it lightly, its things I totally dislike, hate, has serious contempt issues with and do not wish to comment further on.
1)People smoking in lifts
2)People smoking in small spaces
3)Spitting in public places and onto floors
4)Impatience (do please do not expect me to be patient with you either)
5)Cursing and swearing or using foul language. (It took me 2years to mellow down and get rid of that habit so do not say that its not possible, not able to, its hard. BS!)
6)Without emphathy
7)Not bothering to listen
8)Not telling the truth
9)Self centered
10)People who stand in lifts and stare at you while you are waiting for them to exit (STUPIDITY)
These are the things that have been p***ing me OFF and leave me be!
S** OFF
1)People smoking in lifts
2)People smoking in small spaces
3)Spitting in public places and onto floors
4)Impatience (do please do not expect me to be patient with you either)
5)Cursing and swearing or using foul language. (It took me 2years to mellow down and get rid of that habit so do not say that its not possible, not able to, its hard. BS!)
6)Without emphathy
7)Not bothering to listen
8)Not telling the truth
9)Self centered
10)People who stand in lifts and stare at you while you are waiting for them to exit (STUPIDITY)
These are the things that have been p***ing me OFF and leave me be!
S** OFF
Monday, October 4, 2010
Conversations with my daughter,19months
My daughter Elayna turned 19months recently and the best part of it all is how we have managed to make sense of her single words.
Early Morning
E: Mama! Mama!
Me: Good morning Elayna!
E:Bao Bao(carry)*pats at her crib rail*
Me: alright.hang on.
E:hmm(acknowledgement that her instructions are carried out)
Mid Morning
E: MaMa!
Me: Yes Sweetheart?
E:mum mum.
Me: You want to have breakfast? What would you like?
E:*points to cornflakes at top of shelf* mum mum
Me: Okay, but you have to finish it. And she does
Late morning
E: Ba! Ba! *points to the tv*
Me: Not Barney again!why don't we watch Jess?
E: Nooo (her no's are amazing clear)
Me: well say please
E:pease *while holding up her pointer finger* (totally my fault, but that's another story)
Me:*sighs quietly* thinking I reap what I sow
E: *claps and points to the DVD player* Bao Bao!
Me: Carry? then how do I put the DVD in?
E: *Problem solved - she takes the DVD disc, pulls it out from the case and puts it into the DVD player and pushes the open/close button* (I am not exaggerating or lying)
Me: *sighs quietly*
Noon
Me: Elayna are you hungry? Its lunch time.
E: mum mum....*points to the door* Bao Bao
Me: Lets go!
The more I write, the more I realised she's able to tell me to do things that she wants me to do...
Bedtime
Me:Elayna, its time for bed. Say good night
E:*waves her goodbye, gives a flying kiss goodnight* and toddles off towards the room
Me: Time for bed, drink milk and sleep alright. Mummy will read Percy Jackson to you.
(no kidding, I do read Percy Jackson to her. She just likes the sound of my voice but lately she has learnt to recognise the Percy Jackson book covers. and its been about 2mths and we are still on book one)
E:*pushes away milk bottle*
Me: Just abit alright and Mummy will read Percy Jackson to you
E:*Looks at me, flips over to her tummy and sleeps with her head on pillow and opens her mouth*
Me: Good girl
E:*done with milk and now settles in by rubbing her face onto her pillow and points to PJ book)
Me:Okay, mummy will read to Percy Jackson to you.
Conversations with my daughter...there are limited words she can say but I think by taking time to slowly understand what she wants or needs I think we'll get through.
The conversations we share now, I treasure them every single day!
Early Morning
E: Mama! Mama!
Me: Good morning Elayna!
E:Bao Bao(carry)*pats at her crib rail*
Me: alright.hang on.
E:hmm(acknowledgement that her instructions are carried out)
Mid Morning
E: MaMa!
Me: Yes Sweetheart?
E:mum mum.
Me: You want to have breakfast? What would you like?
E:*points to cornflakes at top of shelf* mum mum
Me: Okay, but you have to finish it. And she does
Late morning
E: Ba! Ba! *points to the tv*
Me: Not Barney again!why don't we watch Jess?
E: Nooo (her no's are amazing clear)
Me: well say please
E:pease *while holding up her pointer finger* (totally my fault, but that's another story)
Me:*sighs quietly* thinking I reap what I sow
E: *claps and points to the DVD player* Bao Bao!
Me: Carry? then how do I put the DVD in?
E: *Problem solved - she takes the DVD disc, pulls it out from the case and puts it into the DVD player and pushes the open/close button* (I am not exaggerating or lying)
Me: *sighs quietly*
Noon
Me: Elayna are you hungry? Its lunch time.
E: mum mum....*points to the door* Bao Bao
Me: Lets go!
The more I write, the more I realised she's able to tell me to do things that she wants me to do...
Bedtime
Me:Elayna, its time for bed. Say good night
E:*waves her goodbye, gives a flying kiss goodnight* and toddles off towards the room
Me: Time for bed, drink milk and sleep alright. Mummy will read Percy Jackson to you.
(no kidding, I do read Percy Jackson to her. She just likes the sound of my voice but lately she has learnt to recognise the Percy Jackson book covers. and its been about 2mths and we are still on book one)
E:*pushes away milk bottle*
Me: Just abit alright and Mummy will read Percy Jackson to you
E:*Looks at me, flips over to her tummy and sleeps with her head on pillow and opens her mouth*
Me: Good girl
E:*done with milk and now settles in by rubbing her face onto her pillow and points to PJ book)
Me:Okay, mummy will read to Percy Jackson to you.
Conversations with my daughter...there are limited words she can say but I think by taking time to slowly understand what she wants or needs I think we'll get through.
The conversations we share now, I treasure them every single day!
Monday, June 21, 2010
The hardest thing
Many people have found it really hard to find love, happiness, joy and peace. Whenever I think of who I have around me, what I do everyday, I know I am one of the lucky few who have found love,happiness, joy and peace.knowing all that I have is enough and knowing that what lies before me is happiness enough. I may want alot of things but I know it's not what I need.I have all that I need and anything else that I have would be a bonus!so live a life!
Monday, June 7, 2010
Father's Day
Father's day is coming up.when exactly is it,I am not too sure.since my dad passed away 20 odd years ago, I have since lost touch.I would like my baby girl to be able to celebrate lots of father's day along with her daddy for many many decades to come.love you daddykins! Love you!
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