What can I do?

Somethings can never be perfect that I know. And I have often wondered how I can make things better.

I have failed in certain areas but I know I have done better in some. I know I cannot please everyone but I know I have tried to do what I could. I am not superhuman and I admire those who can.

I know I can't make things better in one go but I know sometimes it deserves another chance.
I get overwhelmed at times.

I think it takes a helping hand and a kind word to get things done. I try and I try everytime but I know it may not be the best but I hope it can.

I know one thing I firmly believe, I cannot give up and I cannot say never.
I do not face defeat with my head down but I will face it with all that I can.

What means the most to me

What means the most to me:
1)At 3am when my baby calls 'Ma Ma' and picks up her pillow and asks me to cuddle her to sleep

2) When my baby smiles and asks me with her big eyes while lying down to 'pat pat' her to sleep.

3)When she is sick and she needs to be the most comfortable and if that happens to be me, I will keep her sleeping on me

4)When I tell her I love her and she nods her head in response

5)At 4am when she finally falls asleep in her bed after telling me she wants a cuddle and 'pat pat'.

6)When she wakes up in the morning and calls 'Ma Ma' and smiles....

Nite Nite

Headaches & 5am wake ups

Baby E will be turning 2 in Feb.how fast and it's 2yrs already. A simple plan to organise a party in school has turned into a major headache.*rubs forehead*

Just yesterday baby & daddy both decided to talk in their sleep.both conversed and mummy was right smacked between their conversation.
Daddy: drink water ok
E:ter ter. (for water)

E:decides to wake up at close to 5am
Mama!
Me: yes?(sleepy eyes barely opening)
E:bao bao
Me:it's sleeping time baby
E:bao bao *points to door*
Me:you want to go outside?
E:*nods head*
Me:ok
Carries her outside......

I am not very sure...

I am not very sure anymore on how things work.
Things that I am sure of I know I can get it to work
I fret on the normal daily things
I sense the lack of joy

I do not know what brings you joy
I do not know what makes you smile
I do not know what brings you happiness,
Not anymore

I can no longer do that
I can no longer make you smile
I can no longer do the things that make you happy anymore

What am I
Who am I
When am I

Feel the sadness
Feel the pain
Feel the hurt
It won't go away

I swallow and see the light
I mellow and realise
There is nothing
There is nothing I can do
To make you smile again

Things that are top of my I DO NOT AGREE WITH

To put it lightly, its things I totally dislike, hate, has serious contempt issues with and do not wish to comment further on.

1)People smoking in lifts
2)People smoking in small spaces
3)Spitting in public places and onto floors
4)Impatience (do please do not expect me to be patient with you either)
5)Cursing and swearing or using foul language. (It took me 2years to mellow down and get rid of that habit so do not say that its not possible, not able to, its hard. BS!)
6)Without emphathy
7)Not bothering to listen
8)Not telling the truth
9)Self centered
10)People who stand in lifts and stare at you while you are waiting for them to exit (STUPIDITY)

These are the things that have been p***ing me OFF and leave me be!
S** OFF