2 months in....Circuit Breaker Singapore

Enter June....

I had been working from home since End March and it had been an interesting experience.

Growing into parenthood, adulthood, middle-age all at home during this period.

During this period, I saw many things that I would have usually missed. I tried not to rush, I slowed down with my children.

Sometimes the slowing down worked, sometimes it didn't and we couldn't.

Home-based learning was a challenge for all parents, sometimes our children behaved like model students and sometimes they don't.

Some children can finish their work in record speed, some took several hours or an entire day.

One thing for sure, it all takes time to develop a routine and create habits.

Nothing is impossible for our children to do, but its about reminding them about the right habits and good habits to have.

I admit that I was one the many parents that were driven crazy by HBL, believe me shouting was unavoidable.

I repeated myself on making effort and paying attention to self.

I repeated myself a million times on being mindful with their words and understanding their own emotions.

I reminded myself to calm down million times.

I avoid insanity by looking for things to do together with my children.

No, I did not join the baking team, cooking team.

We did long walks, we marathon on 西游记 moderately😄, we sat down and have meals together.

We investigated questions and things they wondered. We learnt how to use the internet for research. 

I tried my best. Making effort and see changes. There have been improvements but its one step at time with two steps back.  Then one step forward again...

Thankfully I have 2 children and they take turns to inspire me and also drive me to the borders of insanity.

So I know that by trying my best, it is possible but it takes lots of emotional and mental strength.

We try our best everyday as parents, we face struggles but we feel thankful that this period we have them together with us during this period. They have adapted somehow, and so have we.

We continue to adapt and be resilient together. 

COVID-19 as part of our daily lives-2020

2020 CNY eve came quickly and I felt compelled to get things ready with many last min touch ups. As much as I tried to prepare for the new year, there was just too much to do.

Spring cleaning, making space, it ever seemed to end. Every thing was just too much. I asked for help and it came but it was just not enough or too little too late. 

Suddenly on the eve of Chinese New Year,  at the tail end of the Pig something unexpected and without warning came on our shores. 

COVID-19, first the lockdown of an entire city- WUHAN or otherwise known as the epicentre of the virus. It was about month from today.

It took people of my age by surprise, in one of the largest lockdown ever recorded we saw an entire country But what caught me by surprise even more was how people reacted. I was surprised by the swift action that China took but I was also dismayed by how the initial investigations still had China ‘cover up’ written all over it.  Many Chinese felt that had the local authorities not tried to cover it up, the extent of damage and lives lost might have been mitigated. 

Families who were supposed to get together for the Spring Festival or 春节 could not spend it with families and friends. Overseas workers who went back home for the holidays ended up being caught in the midst of the chaos that eventually ensued due to the international community to contain the virus and prevent its spread to their shores. 

Back at home in Singapore, we caught the COVID-19 and despite seeing the illness on our shores I truly believed that we well prepared even before the panic set in. The NCID just opened, our experience with SARS and our authorities responded quickly. 

Was I worried, yes but I believed I had a responsibility towards myself and my family to keep ourselves safe. Not through panic but by understanding better what COVID-19 was.  

I read the news, read the data and found some medical sources. Then I found lancet.com, a resource centre based on research as it happens during the course of the entire illness. 

I went on Lancet.com, read about COVID-19 and the epidemiological data and how it affects us. And I realised that it is not something that we fear. But what should understand. 

Fear is something that captures an individual but it is how we can overcome it. We do not seek to simply understand but we need to assimilate and adapt. This is how we can navigate through these uncertain times and this situation calls for it. By being rational and not adding stress to an already stressful environment. 

It is not something that we can avoid but it is something that we need to overcome. By displaying empathy, showing emotional strength and learning important lessons from the current situation. 

The unprecedented spread of the COVID-19 opened up to serious repercussions to all individuals; psychologically, emotionally, economically and politically. 

I saw the ugly side of humankind and the lack of values and character that individuals presented during this time. During SARS, the internet and social media was not like today; yet with technological advancements we also saw the regression of character at this time. People pinpointed, made accusations, lacked understanding and rationale to find out more to better help themselves. 

They wanted help but yet could not help themselves by searching for the right information. Medical staff again are blamed for putting themselves on the frontline to help keep the rest of the country safe. 

Now that the rest of the world has started, we see the effectiveness of the lesson we learnt from SARS and how prepared we are at defending our country from all these silent attacks. 

What does this tells us, we cannot fully prevent it from happening to us but it is important to learn from past lessons so that it does not happen again. During SARS we lost medical staff but this time with COVID-19 we did not suffer any casualties even at the initial stages. We are still battling and we will continue to battle until the epidemic alert is lowered at an international level. 

As of today more than 30 countries have cases, compared to SARS where it was isolated to Asia but with many countries facing winter season the damage caused by COVID-19 may be higher than expected. That is why our we should not let our guard down but instead face it with the right mindsets and attitudes.

Fear is a mindset, by facing up to the fear and understanding what causes it can help create learning lessons to help you gain the right attitudes to face it. You might not overcome it completely but you can develop the right attitude and psychological skills to face it. 

Fear is not something you run away from, but understanding the cause and effect it causes to you can let you develop the right attitude and characteristics to better yourself. 

Fear develops a fixed mindset but by understanding fear and the cause of the fear helps one to develop the growth mindset to develop the right attitudes to overcome it. 

I come to terms that COVID-19 will eventually be part of our daily lives. For the next year we might not completely eradicate it but we might face it like dengue. Only by developing a positive mindset towards ones life that you can help yourself overcome the situation before you.

I didn’t know I would have dengue 8years ago but I did and i the only thing I could do was to fight it and remain positive to understand what causes it and how to recover from it. Of course i was lucky not to get a more serious situation but I do know that I did not take my health for granted from day one. I knew good health was something that I had to work for and i think that helped me to develop a stronger immunity towards illnesses.

Only by understanding oneself first, you can understand how to live with all these uncertainties all round us. Preparing ourselves for uncertainties with a positive mindset, learning lessons and gaining understanding it stays with your for life.  Make it part of your life today by moving forward and learning how to live with uncertainties and staying prepared. 

Potential
Cambridge English Dictionary defines it in a few ways, here are some that I relate to.

- possible when the necessary conditions exist
-someone’s or something’s ability to develop, achieve or succeed
- an ability the person has not yet developed
- able to develop in the future when the necessary conditions exist

They all mean more or less the same thing. Now when we relate that to children I often wonder..being a mother I look at my children and I wonder how can I develop such ‘potential’ for them.
So I asked myself this question, what is my potential? I mean let’s face it, every single human being has potential so what sort of potential are you talking about?

I’m not a scientist as neither am I a psychologist, but one thing I know for sure is there is a chance for something good to happen if the base conditions are set right. With the right intentions and values.

The ideologies that go behind developing that potential should not stem from desires but from a single question that starts with if and can it be......

All things take preparation and with that preparation it takes discipline and the determination to see things through. The focus to drive efforts and continuity to the next level. If it’s something that requires a singular effort then of course an individual with the above values can see it through.

NO MAN OR WOMAN IS AN ISLAND

When you have a team you ask yourself this, who are your team? Are they fully committed into this or are they part here or part there. Are ready to be in this together and are standing with you. I do not think that anyone person is indispensable neither do I think no one is irreplaceable but I do know that each person has a value that they contribute to a team. And that is what makes a team special.

The potential that you can uncover by having teammates is multiplied by the number of team mates you have. As this will also affect your own reflections as team leader or team member.  One question that you will have to ask yourself - have I done my part well as a team leader and have I done my job well as the leader to split the responsibilities amongst my teammates so that the fullest potential can be reached.

Am I the only one person or I feel supported?

Is the individual driven to their fullest potential to achieve their personal best or success?
Is there only one or many that find personal success and achieve their own personal best?

Let’s celebrate these moments of personal success and best lest we forget how much work and effort was put into each moment to create an opportunity for potential to be discovered!

My last post

My last post was in 2013...

This is my new post from 2019...

Look at how motherhood and work has made it harder for one to speak of own thoughts and ideas.

I think I changed a little over the last few years.  With managing 2 primary school going children.

It’s the side where being a mother means developing your child to their fullest potential.

Trying to decide if what they want is a whim or fancy which last only for a while or can they do it one their own without external influences or help.

So what now.

Adventure on...

2nd Time mummy around! Good Times and Rough times, Never any Bad times!

Hello! Its been awhile! Well, things have changed and I have become a mummy second time around.
This second time round, things change alot. And I mean alot.

But one thing that hasn't, how people judge you based on the basics shared. Some people think that by doing what I do, I am selfish and I don't seem to be able to balance work and family properly. But for those who know what is happening, you actually stop judging and start understanding. Rather than to assume that its selfish and individual reasons, when you really know why then one realises that there is not much of a choice.

People are still the same, they judge and assume and think what they want to think. Sad to say that people do change for better or for the worst. And I have experienced both ends. I like to think that I have changed for the better in some areas and there are some areas I like to improve upon. Some people have changed so much that it worries me and the presumption they have to others is amazingly negative.

I have faced certain levels of negatively in my life and never have I felt so much simply because of the circumtances that I am in. I don't fault anyone and all I want to do is to improve upon it. You cannot dwell on problems, you have to solve it. And once I solve it, I will have all the time in the world. But now is not a good time, but I hope to those that matter you see that I am balancing out as much as I can. 

We all inspire to be the Best!