Its been quite a while since I did put anything down. Today, something happened and my reaction of it was one of the strangest even to myself.
I just handled it so to put it simply. I think despite what kind of squemish feelings or unease some people might have thought, I think the most important aspect is the duty of care. All the kids that I care for, are just like my own. I think its important to have that mindset and say, I must learn to care for others before I can care for my own.
I must be able to to well myself before I can do well for others. But when is it good enough? When is enough for others to say I will do this too. I will be able to do this too. When everyone is different.
In reality, we all are different but how do we find the middle ground to say that HEY! lets get this going TOGETHER. Like how Baby E does it, lets put it together mummy :-)
Well, Baby E will be seeing Lion King for the 3rd time. First time on the top level, 2nd time from the dress circle, where she hi -five the 'Uncle who holds the bird' - her words not mine. This time from the stage level, will she touch the elephant or the rhino I don't know!
I am so so proud of Baby E and I hope she is proud of me too.
Monday, October 10, 2011
Monday, May 9, 2011
What I think so far - How has it been
What do I think so far? I have been a SAHM (with some PTWM aspects thrown in) for the past 1 week and the experience was humbling.
I was cleaning, washing, cooking(very little) and most of all taking care Baby E while at the same time potty training - imagine the amount of cleaning I have to do...sheesh.
But I think I have come to terms to how much tougher it is to be a SAHM and although I already knew how tough it was (which was why I never thought of being one in the first place and secondly I knew how tough it would be to balance as a FTWM but I still did) but this one week was humbling. I fufilled the basic conditions but I realised that I lacked in certain areas.
I guess having to do it full time at home was an eye opening experience that really taught me alot. I couldn't do anything else in the day to be honest, and while she was sleeping I had to do the housework that I couldn't do while she was awake. The only time I could work was when she was asleep for the day and like the time now is 2am, I am working on the finishing touches of what needs to be done.
But to be honest, I had my reservations on if i could do it, look after Baby E and yet be able to manage some of my own tasks. But i think I managed, abeit sacrificing some sleep in the process.
But this only goes to show the tenacity of a mother. A mother is one who is willing to go to lengths for their child and achieve beyond the norm.
Having said that, I do understand that the limits and faults of a person and although I know that I have done what needs to be done I do ask myself what else can be done. And as I do this exercise, I see the loopholes and my eyes are wide open to what else can be done. And I see alot.
The exercise that I do applies to all aspects and roles that I perform and fufill. I don't ever think of giving up as they define who I am and want to be for myself and to allow my child see that as long as you set your mind to it, anything is possible.
I don't want to be that person that gives up - bad example to set before my child.
Overcoming the obstacles, being true to who I am,that is who I want to be for her. And the type of person i want to become. I cannot be anything less. I must remember that.
Although in all honesty, I do sneak a break in sometimes as we all do. Its only about finding the balance in all.
=)
I was cleaning, washing, cooking(very little) and most of all taking care Baby E while at the same time potty training - imagine the amount of cleaning I have to do...sheesh.
But I think I have come to terms to how much tougher it is to be a SAHM and although I already knew how tough it was (which was why I never thought of being one in the first place and secondly I knew how tough it would be to balance as a FTWM but I still did) but this one week was humbling. I fufilled the basic conditions but I realised that I lacked in certain areas.
I guess having to do it full time at home was an eye opening experience that really taught me alot. I couldn't do anything else in the day to be honest, and while she was sleeping I had to do the housework that I couldn't do while she was awake. The only time I could work was when she was asleep for the day and like the time now is 2am, I am working on the finishing touches of what needs to be done.
But to be honest, I had my reservations on if i could do it, look after Baby E and yet be able to manage some of my own tasks. But i think I managed, abeit sacrificing some sleep in the process.
But this only goes to show the tenacity of a mother. A mother is one who is willing to go to lengths for their child and achieve beyond the norm.
Having said that, I do understand that the limits and faults of a person and although I know that I have done what needs to be done I do ask myself what else can be done. And as I do this exercise, I see the loopholes and my eyes are wide open to what else can be done. And I see alot.
The exercise that I do applies to all aspects and roles that I perform and fufill. I don't ever think of giving up as they define who I am and want to be for myself and to allow my child see that as long as you set your mind to it, anything is possible.
I don't want to be that person that gives up - bad example to set before my child.
Overcoming the obstacles, being true to who I am,that is who I want to be for her. And the type of person i want to become. I cannot be anything less. I must remember that.
Although in all honesty, I do sneak a break in sometimes as we all do. Its only about finding the balance in all.
=)
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Taking her out from school
I have finally made the decision to take baby e out from play school.
It was not the fact that she was crying all the time when we brought her to school but like clockwork she would attend school from mon to thu and on fri she would always develop a fever.it always pains me to see her sick and having to take all the fever meds.
So the end result after 3months of starting school and only attending at best 1month out of the 3,her natural reaction is to reject school.
I have decided to take her out but at the same time I cannot neglect her growing need to explore and learn. One of the biggest things I need to do is to develop a learning schedule for her so that her growing needs and her natural stage of development is not behind those of her age group.
They call it homeschooling.I just hope I can do it well.
It was not the fact that she was crying all the time when we brought her to school but like clockwork she would attend school from mon to thu and on fri she would always develop a fever.it always pains me to see her sick and having to take all the fever meds.
So the end result after 3months of starting school and only attending at best 1month out of the 3,her natural reaction is to reject school.
I have decided to take her out but at the same time I cannot neglect her growing need to explore and learn. One of the biggest things I need to do is to develop a learning schedule for her so that her growing needs and her natural stage of development is not behind those of her age group.
They call it homeschooling.I just hope I can do it well.
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Qing Ming Festival
Its Qing Ming Festival....so fast. Seems only like last year that I last went to pay my respects to my Dad.
Every year, it would be a thing my mum and I would do. But my mum has conveniently passed the baton to me and merely reminded me that I have to do it this year. Such convenience....
Well, makes me think about how Elayna has not been to see her ye ye before. And to be honest, memories of my dad are kinda fuzzy but I do know pretty much some parts of me are my dad too.
So basically as long as I live my life the best that I can be, I pretty much lived up to his expectations. =)
=)
Every year, it would be a thing my mum and I would do. But my mum has conveniently passed the baton to me and merely reminded me that I have to do it this year. Such convenience....
Well, makes me think about how Elayna has not been to see her ye ye before. And to be honest, memories of my dad are kinda fuzzy but I do know pretty much some parts of me are my dad too.
So basically as long as I live my life the best that I can be, I pretty much lived up to his expectations. =)
=)
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Latest commands from E
The latest discussions or commands that Baby E has with me have been this way.
Baby E:Mimi(short for mummy) iphone please!
Me: Okay
E: Mimi clap (we listen to her CD in the car, yes she has her own children song cds in the car)
Me: Okay
Papa: *claps*
E: Papa drive!
E:Mimi come!
M:okay
E:Mimi, sit draw draw
Me:Okay, color in the line please
E:Okay
M: Good, Clever girl *claps*
E:Mimi, clap!
The story of Baby E! =D
Baby E:Mimi(short for mummy) iphone please!
Me: Okay
E: Mimi clap (we listen to her CD in the car, yes she has her own children song cds in the car)
Me: Okay
Papa: *claps*
E: Papa drive!
E:Mimi come!
M:okay
E:Mimi, sit draw draw
Me:Okay, color in the line please
E:Okay
M: Good, Clever girl *claps*
E:Mimi, clap!
The story of Baby E! =D
Monday, March 28, 2011
Things that I need to be done
Baby E has discovered the power of melodramacy. She cries by throwing herself on the floor and starts tearing up. This has inspired me to sign her up for singing & dancing classes to train her to use her dramatic talents to better use.
On another note, she has not been to school for nearly a month now and now whenever we talk about going to school she starts to cry and say no. She has always been resistant to the idea of going to school but I think this time she is serious. But I wonder.....what is the problem here. Taking her out of a 6 hour school is not the solution....Mummy's gotta think.
Baby E has way too much clothes and I need to start a pre-loved clothes sale blog thingy. Cos she has alot of clothes, either A)have not worn, B)out grew and worn a few times C)Clothes that have been worn and still in good condition.
Interestingly, she has the same situation with shoes. And mummy has the same problem.
Well Like Mother, Like Daugher....
=D
On another note, she has not been to school for nearly a month now and now whenever we talk about going to school she starts to cry and say no. She has always been resistant to the idea of going to school but I think this time she is serious. But I wonder.....what is the problem here. Taking her out of a 6 hour school is not the solution....Mummy's gotta think.
Baby E has way too much clothes and I need to start a pre-loved clothes sale blog thingy. Cos she has alot of clothes, either A)have not worn, B)out grew and worn a few times C)Clothes that have been worn and still in good condition.
Interestingly, she has the same situation with shoes. And mummy has the same problem.
Well Like Mother, Like Daugher....
=D
Monday, March 21, 2011
I think I got it
I think I have finally found a description for what I am feeling.painful & exhausted.but I tell myself this that nothing is impossible and it's possible to meet the impossible.
Out of myself
I have been out of myself lately.elayna getting food poisoning,angry at me for not being at home when she is sick and being stressed up at work.not getting enough sleep, waking up every 2hrs,keeping tabs on everything.well yeah,it's that way lately.hopefully next week will be a better week.
Monday, February 28, 2011
What can I do?
Somethings can never be perfect that I know. And I have often wondered how I can make things better.
I have failed in certain areas but I know I have done better in some. I know I cannot please everyone but I know I have tried to do what I could. I am not superhuman and I admire those who can.
I know I can't make things better in one go but I know sometimes it deserves another chance.
I get overwhelmed at times.
I think it takes a helping hand and a kind word to get things done. I try and I try everytime but I know it may not be the best but I hope it can.
I know one thing I firmly believe, I cannot give up and I cannot say never.
I do not face defeat with my head down but I will face it with all that I can.
I have failed in certain areas but I know I have done better in some. I know I cannot please everyone but I know I have tried to do what I could. I am not superhuman and I admire those who can.
I know I can't make things better in one go but I know sometimes it deserves another chance.
I get overwhelmed at times.
I think it takes a helping hand and a kind word to get things done. I try and I try everytime but I know it may not be the best but I hope it can.
I know one thing I firmly believe, I cannot give up and I cannot say never.
I do not face defeat with my head down but I will face it with all that I can.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
What means the most to me
What means the most to me:
1)At 3am when my baby calls 'Ma Ma' and picks up her pillow and asks me to cuddle her to sleep
2) When my baby smiles and asks me with her big eyes while lying down to 'pat pat' her to sleep.
3)When she is sick and she needs to be the most comfortable and if that happens to be me, I will keep her sleeping on me
4)When I tell her I love her and she nods her head in response
5)At 4am when she finally falls asleep in her bed after telling me she wants a cuddle and 'pat pat'.
6)When she wakes up in the morning and calls 'Ma Ma' and smiles....
Nite Nite
1)At 3am when my baby calls 'Ma Ma' and picks up her pillow and asks me to cuddle her to sleep
2) When my baby smiles and asks me with her big eyes while lying down to 'pat pat' her to sleep.
3)When she is sick and she needs to be the most comfortable and if that happens to be me, I will keep her sleeping on me
4)When I tell her I love her and she nods her head in response
5)At 4am when she finally falls asleep in her bed after telling me she wants a cuddle and 'pat pat'.
6)When she wakes up in the morning and calls 'Ma Ma' and smiles....
Nite Nite
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Headaches & 5am wake ups
Baby E will be turning 2 in Feb.how fast and it's 2yrs already. A simple plan to organise a party in school has turned into a major headache.*rubs forehead*
Just yesterday baby & daddy both decided to talk in their sleep.both conversed and mummy was right smacked between their conversation.
Daddy: drink water ok
E:ter ter. (for water)
E:decides to wake up at close to 5am
Mama!
Me: yes?(sleepy eyes barely opening)
E:bao bao
Me:it's sleeping time baby
E:bao bao *points to door*
Me:you want to go outside?
E:*nods head*
Me:ok
Carries her outside......
Just yesterday baby & daddy both decided to talk in their sleep.both conversed and mummy was right smacked between their conversation.
Daddy: drink water ok
E:ter ter. (for water)
E:decides to wake up at close to 5am
Mama!
Me: yes?(sleepy eyes barely opening)
E:bao bao
Me:it's sleeping time baby
E:bao bao *points to door*
Me:you want to go outside?
E:*nods head*
Me:ok
Carries her outside......
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