What do I think so far? I have been a SAHM (with some PTWM aspects thrown in) for the past 1 week and the experience was humbling.
I was cleaning, washing, cooking(very little) and most of all taking care Baby E while at the same time potty training - imagine the amount of cleaning I have to do...sheesh.
But I think I have come to terms to how much tougher it is to be a SAHM and although I already knew how tough it was (which was why I never thought of being one in the first place and secondly I knew how tough it would be to balance as a FTWM but I still did) but this one week was humbling. I fufilled the basic conditions but I realised that I lacked in certain areas.
I guess having to do it full time at home was an eye opening experience that really taught me alot. I couldn't do anything else in the day to be honest, and while she was sleeping I had to do the housework that I couldn't do while she was awake. The only time I could work was when she was asleep for the day and like the time now is 2am, I am working on the finishing touches of what needs to be done.
But to be honest, I had my reservations on if i could do it, look after Baby E and yet be able to manage some of my own tasks. But i think I managed, abeit sacrificing some sleep in the process.
But this only goes to show the tenacity of a mother. A mother is one who is willing to go to lengths for their child and achieve beyond the norm.
Having said that, I do understand that the limits and faults of a person and although I know that I have done what needs to be done I do ask myself what else can be done. And as I do this exercise, I see the loopholes and my eyes are wide open to what else can be done. And I see alot.
The exercise that I do applies to all aspects and roles that I perform and fufill. I don't ever think of giving up as they define who I am and want to be for myself and to allow my child see that as long as you set your mind to it, anything is possible.
I don't want to be that person that gives up - bad example to set before my child.
Overcoming the obstacles, being true to who I am,that is who I want to be for her. And the type of person i want to become. I cannot be anything less. I must remember that.
Although in all honesty, I do sneak a break in sometimes as we all do. Its only about finding the balance in all.
=)
