My baby girl Elayna at 2mths and 3 weeks has the sweetest of smiles but its so hard to capture on picture that most adorable smile. I will try my hardest to capture the special moments and post them on this blog.
Being on maternity leave now gives me time to bond and appreciate these moments I have with my baby girl every single day. Sometimes its really tiring but I know that I am learning more and more about her every single day. I think a lot about what she needs and what she would want from me every day. Being a mum at 28yrs is something that I could not expect at all. It seems like yesterday that I was carrying Elayna in my tummy and I could feel her punches. She was a breech baby which means that she did not turn down at all for me to deliver her naturally. Up till the day that the c-section which was scheduled for her delivery I was still hoping for her to turn down. But the doctor did an Ultra sound and she was still in her breech position, so the c-section had to go ahead.
It was cold in the OT, I could see the temperature in the room was 18degrees and I was only dressed in the operation gown which was open in the back..and boy was it cold!! As I was in the OT prep room the doctor was giving me the low down on how the operation will proceed. And as I was wheeled into the OT I was getting all prepped up for the spinal anestatisic which will make me immobile from the waist down and slowly proceed to make me totally numb everywhere below the neck. Was I afraid?. Nah... It felt quite itchy and I was shivering (which was normal when you are under the spinal.) And slowly I could feel my neck going numb. A screen was pulled up so that I could not see them cutting into me, but I could still feel a slight tugging at my skin around the abdominal area. At the same time I could feel like vomitting and it was another normal feeling to have under the spinal. The purpose here is so that I can bond eariler with the baby by keeping awake throughout the procedure. This way they can show me the baby immediately after she was taken out from my womb. Throughout the whole process, I was wishing that my hubby was there with me so that he could share through every single moment of her birth.
I remember it clearly, she was so loud the minute she was taken out from me. She was wailing away and she was screaming her head off and the doctor was saying that she has a good set of lungs in her. The minute I heard her scream I was wondering how does she look like, was she safe, was she alright and does she have all her digits..etc... all the typical motherly things I could think of. I saw the nurse carrying her out towards the OT prep area to clean her up and I felt as though it was forever before she was brought back to me so that I can have a look at her. I remember holding on to my fatigue to stay awake so that I can see her before I closed my eyes.
Finally I saw her and she was beautiful. Eyes was slightly open and she could see me and I could see her. I kissed her and said Elayna..baby..it was so emotional that I cried. That was my baby and I was so proud of her to have come out so strong and healthy. At that moment all I prayed for was for her to continue be strong and healthy and for me be with her.
I was closed up, and wheeled to the post op room where I was suppose to recover. But I was missing my baby so much. I couldn't wait to go up to the room to see her but I was hovering in and out of alertness and awakeness.
At that moment all I wanted was for my hubby to tell me that baby is fine and wonderful. But I was instead told that I had to stay in recovery ward as it was taking me longer than usual to come off the anesthetic.
To cut the long story short, I was finally brought up to my ward around 3pm and finally got to see my daughter in the evening. And she was beautiful...
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